【爆笑中文】中文声调 | HSK 2-3 | 日常中文

您好nín hǎo睡觉shuì jiào多少duō shǎo钱qián一yī晚wǎn

Hello, how much is it to sleep here per night?

睡觉shuì jiào？这里zhè lǐ是shì饭馆fàn guǎn呀ya

Sleep? This is a restaurant!

我wǒ很hěn饿è,想xiǎng吃chī一yī碗wǎn‘睡觉shuì jiào’

I'm hungry, I want a bowl of 'sleep'.

啊a那nà叫jiào水饺shuǐ jiǎo不bù叫jiào睡觉shuì jiào

Ah, that's called dumplings, not sleep.

水饺shuǐ jiǎo和hé睡觉shuì jiào有yǒu什么shén me不同bù tóng

What's the difference between dumplings and sleep?

水饺shuǐ jiǎo是shì吃的chī de，睡觉shuì jiào是shì去qù床chuáng上shàng

Dumplings are for eating, sleep is for going to bed.

明白míng bai了le，一个yī ge是shì吃的chī de，一个yī ge是shì动作dòng zuò

I see, one is for eating, the other is an action.

没错méi cuò那nà你nǐ现在xiàn zài想xiǎng吃chī什么shén me呢ne

Exactly, so what would you like to eat now?

我wǒ要yào一yī碗wǎn热rè热rè的de水饺shuǐ jiǎo

I'd like a bowl of hot dumplings.

好hǎo的de马上mǎ shàng给gěi你nǐ送sòng过来guò lái

Okay, I'll bring it to you right away.

我wǒ可以kě yǐ吻wěn你nǐ一下yī xià吗ma

Can I kiss you?

吻wěn我wǒ，这zhè可kě不行bù xíng

Kiss me? That's not okay.

我wǒ只是zhǐ shì有yǒu一个yī ge小xiǎo问题wèn tí

I just have a small question.

啊a你nǐ想xiǎng说shuō的de是shì‘问wèn’

Ah, you mean 'ask'.

问wèn和hé吻wěn听起来tīng qi lai一样yī yàng吗ma

Do "ask" and "kiss" sound the same?

不一样bù yī yàng，声调shēng diào完全wán quán不同bù tóng

They aren't the same, the tones are completely different.

问wèn是shì什么shén me声调shēng diào

What tone is "ask"?

问wèn是shì第四声dì sì shēng，是shì提问tí wèn的de意思yì si

'Ask' is the fourth tone, it means to pose a question.

问wèn，向下xiàng xià读dú是shì提tí问题wèn tí

"Ask" (wèn), read with a downward tone, is to pose a question.

吻wěn是shì第三声dì sān shēng，是shì亲吻qīn wěn的de意思yì si

'Kiss' is the third tone, it means to kiss.

吻wěn是shì用yòng嘴zuǐ亲qīn

"Kiss" (wěn) is done with the mouth.

没错méi cuò

Exactly.

刚才gāng cái对不起duì bu qǐ，让ràng你nǐ生气shēng qì了le

Sorry about just now, I made you angry.

没关系méi guān xi，现在xiàn zài我wǒ明白míng bai了le

No worries, I understand now.

那么nà me我wǒ想xiǎng问wèn你nǐ一个yī ge问题wèn tí

So, I'd like to ask you a question.

好hǎo的de你nǐ问wèn吧ba

Okay, go ahead and ask.

你好nǐ hǎo，有yǒu热rè的de报纸bào zhǐ吗ma

Hello, do you have any hot newspapers?

热rè的de报纸bào zhǐ，我们wǒ men这里zhè lǐ不bù卖mài

Hot newspapers? We don't sell those here.

我wǒ想xiǎng吃chī两liǎng个gè牛肉niú ròu味wèi的de

I want to eat two beef-flavored ones.

哈哈hā hā你nǐ想xiǎng买mǎi包子bāo zi吧ba

Haha, you want to buy steamed buns, right?

对duì对duì，包子bāo zi和hé报纸bào zhǐ很hěn像xiàng

Right, right, steamed buns and newspapers are very similar.

包子bāo zi是shì一声yī shēng，是shì好吃hǎo chī的de

'Steamed bun' is the first tone, it's delicious.

包子bāo zi

Steamed bun.

报纸bào zhǐ是shì四声sì shēng，是shì看kàn的de

'Newspaper' is the fourth tone, it's for reading.

报纸bào zhǐ

Newspaper.

对了duì le报纸bào zhǐ可kě不能bù néng拿来ná lái吃chī

Right, you can't eat newspapers.

还好hái hǎo你nǐ提醒tí xǐng我wǒ，太tài尴尬gān gà了le

Good thing you reminded me, that was so embarrassing.

现在xiàn zài要yào两liǎng个gè牛肉niú ròu包子bāo zi吗ma

Do you want two beef steamed buns now?

是的shì de我wǒ要yào两liǎng个gè热rè包子bāo zi

Yes, I want two hot steamed buns.

好hǎo的de这就zhè jiù给gěi你nǐ拿ná

Okay, I'll get them for you.

这个zhè ge‘胸毛xiōng máo’真zhēn可爱kě ài

This 'chest hair' is really cute.

什么shén me，你nǐ在zài看kàn哪里nǎ lǐ

What? Where are you looking?

看kàn前面qián miàn那nà只zhǐ黑hēi白色bái sè的de

Look at that black and white one in front.

天tiān呐nà那nà叫jiào熊猫xióng māo

Oh my god, that's called a panda.

熊猫xióng māo和hé胸毛xiōng máo不一样bù yī yàng吗ma

Aren't panda and chest hair different?

熊猫xióng māo是shì动物dòng wù

A panda is an animal.

熊猫xióng māo

Panda.

胸毛xiōng máo是shì胸前xiōng qián的de毛máo

Chest hair is the hair on your chest.

哎呀āi yā我wǒ刚才gāng cái说shuō错cuò了le

Oh, I said it wrong just now.

哈哈hā hā没关系méi guān xi学会xué huì就jiù好hǎo

Haha, no worries, it's good that you learned it.

那nà只zhǐ黑白hēi bái熊猫xióng māo真zhēn可爱kě ài

That black and white panda is really cute.

是的shì de我们wǒ men去qù拍pāi张zhāng照zhào

Yes, let's go take a photo.

老板Lǎo bǎn请qǐng多duō给gěi我wǒ糖táng

Boss, please give me more sugar.

在zài面miàn里lǐ加jiā糖táng那nà很hěn甜tián

Adding sugar to noodles, that's very sweet.

我wǒ很hěn渴kě我wǒ想xiǎng多duō喝hē一点yī diǎn

I'm very thirsty, I want to drink more.

你nǐ想xiǎng喝hē面汤miàn tāng吧ba

You want to drink noodle soup, right?

汤tāng和hé糖táng不是bù shì一样yī yàng的de吗ma

Aren't soup and sugar the same?

汤tāng是shì一声yī shēng，是shì热rè热rè的de汁zhī

"Soup" (tāng) is the first tone, it's a hot liquid.

汤tāng是shì喝hē的de

Soup is for drinking.

糖táng是shì二声èr shēng，是shì甜tián甜tián的de

"Sugar" (táng) is the second tone, it's sweet.

糖táng是shì甜tián的de调料tiáo liào

Sugar is a sweet seasoning.

对面duì miàn里lǐ加jiā糖táng就jiù不bù好喝hǎo hē了le

Right, adding sugar to noodles wouldn't taste good.

多亏duō kuī你nǐ问wèn我wǒ，我wǒ要yào汤tāng

Thanks for asking me, I want soup.

好hǎo的de多duō给gěi你nǐ加点jiā diǎn热rè汤tāng

Okay, I'll add some more hot soup for you.

谢谢xiè xie我wǒ记住jì zhu了le

Thanks, I've remembered it.

客气kè qi慢慢吃màn màn chī

You're welcome, eat slowly.

我wǒ想xiǎng买mǎi一个yī ge新xīn的de‘眼睛yǎn jing’

I want to buy a new pair of 'eyes'.

买mǎi眼睛yǎn jing，这zhè可kě买mǎi不到bù dào

Buy eyes? You can't buy those.

我wǒ近视jìn shì看不清kàn bu qīng字zì

I'm nearsighted and can't see the words clearly.

啊a那nà叫jiào眼镜yǎn jìng

Ah, that's called glasses.

眼镜yǎn jìng和hé眼睛yǎn jing有yǒu什么shén me不同bù tóng

What's the difference between glasses and eyes?

眼镜yǎn jìng是shì工具gōng jù

Glasses are a tool.

眼镜yǎn jìng，镜jìng字zì要yào往wǎng下xià读dú

Glasses, the "glass" character should be read downwards.

眼睛yǎn jing是shì身体shēn tǐ部位bù wèi

Eyes are a body part.

眼睛yǎn jing后面hòu mian要yào读dú得de又yòu轻qīng又yòu短duǎn

Eyes, the end should be read lightly and shortly.

没错méi cuò现在xiàn zài你nǐ明白míng bai了le吧ba

Exactly, do you understand now?

明白míng bai了le我wǒ想xiǎng买mǎi一yī副fù眼镜yǎn jìng

I see, I want to buy a pair of glasses.

走zǒu吧ba我wǒ带dài你nǐ去qù挑tiāo

Let's go, I'll take you to pick some out.

你好nǐ hǎo能néng给gěi我wǒ被子bèi zi吗ma

Hello, can you give me a quilt?

被子bèi zi咖啡馆kā fēi guǎn没有méi yǒu被子bèi zi

Quilt? The cafe doesn't have quilts.

没有méi yǒu被子bèi zi怎么zěn me喝hē咖啡kā fēi

How can you drink coffee without a cup?

啊a你nǐ要yào的de是shì杯子bēi zi吧ba

Ah, you want a cup, right?

对duì对duì，我wǒ发音fā yīn又yòu错cuò了le

Right, right, I got the pronunciation wrong again.

杯子bēi zi是shì装zhuāng水shuǐ的de

A cup is for holding water.

杯子bēi zi

Cup.

被子bèi zi是shì睡觉shuì jiào盖gài的de

A quilt is for covering yourself while sleeping.

被子bèi zi

Quilt.

对duì这zhè两liǎng个gè字zì声调shēng diào不同bù tóng

Right, these two words have different tones.

我wǒ想要xiǎng yào一个yī ge喝hē咖啡kā fēi的de杯子bēi zi

I want a cup for drinking coffee.

好hǎo的de这就zhè jiù拿ná给gěi你nǐ

Okay, I'll get it for you.

你好nǐ hǎo这里zhè lǐ卖mài蜜蜂mì fēng吗ma

Hello, do you sell bees here?

蜜蜂mì fēng，那nà是shì一种yī zhǒng昆虫kūn chóng呀ya

Bee, that's a type of insect.

我wǒ想xiǎng把bǎ它tā抹mǒ在zài面包miàn bāo上shàng吃chī

I want to spread it on bread to eat.

哈哈hā hā那nà叫jiào蜂蜜fēng mì，不是bù shì蜜蜂mì fēng

Haha, that's called honey, not bee.

这zhè两liǎng个gè词cí不是bù shì一样yī yàng的de吗ma

Aren't these two words the same?

字zì是shì一样yī yàng的de，但是dàn shì顺序shùn xù相反xiāng fǎn

The characters are the same, but the order is reversed.

蜜蜂mì fēng蜜mì字zì在zài前面qián miàn

Honey (fēngmì), the "honey" character is in front.

对duì蜜蜂mì fēng是shì会huì飞fēi会huì咬yǎo人rén的de

Right, bees can fly and sting people.

蜂fēng蜜蜂mì fēng字zì在zài前面qián miàn

Bee-honey (mìfēng), the "bee" character is in front.

是的shì de蜂蜜fēng mì是shì甜tián甜tián的de食品shí pǐn

Yes, honey is a sweet food.

太tài有趣yǒu qù了le，顺序shùn xù变biàn了le意思yì si变biàn

That's so interesting, the order changes the meaning.

所以suǒ yǐ一定yī dìng要yào记jì清楚qīng chu顺序shùn xù

So you must remember the order clearly.

我wǒ要yào买mǎi一yī瓶píng甜tián甜tián的de蜂蜜fēng mì

I want to buy a bottle of sweet honey.

好hǎo的de给gěi你nǐ蜂蜜fēng mì

Okay, here is your honey.

你好nǐ hǎo，您nín是shì我wǒ的de老鼠lǎo shǔ吗ma

Hello, are you my mouse?

老鼠lǎo shǔ，你nǐ在zài开玩笑kāi wán xiào吗ma

Mouse? Are you joking?

您nín不是bù shì教jiāo我wǒ写xiě中文Zhōng wén的de人rén吗ma

Aren't you the person who teaches me Chinese?

我wǒ是shì老师lǎo shī，不是bù shì老鼠lǎo shǔ

I am a teacher, not a mouse.

抱歉bào qiàn，老师lǎo shī和hé老鼠lǎo shǔ太tài像xiàng了le

Sorry, "teacher" and "mouse" sound too similar.

老师lǎo shī是shì教jiào知识zhī shi的de人rén

A teacher is someone who teaches knowledge.

老师lǎo shī后面hòu mian声音shēng yīn平平píng píng的de

"Teacher" (lǎoshī) has a flat sound at the end.

老鼠lǎo shǔ是shì一yī只zhī小xiǎo动物dòng wù

A mouse is a small animal.

老鼠lǎo shǔ后面hòu mian要yào转弯zhuǎn wān读dú

"Mouse" (lǎoshǔ) needs a turn in the tone at the end.

没错méi cuò，叫jiào错cuò的话de huà很hěn不bù礼貌lǐ mào

Exactly, it's very impolite to call someone the wrong name.

对不起duì bu qǐ尊敬zūn jìng的de老师lǎo shī

Sorry, respected teacher.

没关系méi guān xi现在xiàn zài我们wǒ men上课shàng kè

No worries, let's start the lesson now.

你好nǐ hǎo我wǒ要yào一yī份fèn‘红烧hóng shāo鞋子xié zi’

Hello, I'd like an order of 'braised shoes'.

红烧hóng shāo‘鞋子xié zi’，我们wǒ men不能bù néng吃chī‘鞋子xié zi’

Braised 'shoes'? We can't eat 'shoes'.

那nà是shì一道yī dào紫色zǐ sè的de菜cài呀ya

That's a purple-colored dish!

啊a那nà叫jiào茄子qié zi，不是bù shì鞋子xié zi

Ah, that's called eggplant, not shoes.

茄子qié zi和hé鞋子xié zi声母shēng mǔ不同bù tóng

Eggplant and shoes have different initials.

是的shì de，一个yī ge是shìq，一个yī ge是shìx

Yes, one starts with 'q', the other with 'x'.

茄子qié zi是shì蔬菜shū cài

Eggplant is a vegetable.

鞋子xié zi是shì穿chuān在zài脚jiǎo上shàng

Shoes are worn on the feet.

那nà我wǒ要yào一yī份fèn红烧hóng shāo茄子qié zi

Then I'll have an order of braised eggplant.

好hǎo的de马上mǎ shàng送sòng来lái

Okay, I'll bring it right away.

不好bù hǎo了le，我wǒ要死yào sǐ掉diào了le

Oh no, I'm going to die.

啊a你nǐ怎么了zěn me le哪里nǎ lǐ疼téng

Ah, what's wrong? Where does it hurt?

我wǒ打dǎ不bù开门kāi mén

I can't open the door.

天tiān呐nà你nǐ想xiǎng说shuō的de是shì钥匙yào shi吧ba

Oh my god, you mean 'key', right?

钥匙yào shi和hé要死yào sǐ听起来tīng qi lai差不多chà bu duō

'Key' and 'want to die' sound almost the same.

差远chà yuǎn了le，钥匙yào shi是shì轻声qīng shēng，是shì开门kāi mén的de

Not even close, 'key' is a neutral tone, it's for opening doors.

钥匙yào shi

Key.

要死yào sǐ是shì生命shēng mìng结束jié shù

'Want to die' is the end of life.

啊a我wǒ天tiān

Oh my god.

对duì说shuō错cuò了le会huì让ràng人rén很hěn害怕hài pà

Right, saying it wrong will scare people.

我wǒ懂dǒng了le我wǒ的de钥匙yào shi不见了bù jiàn le

I get it, my key is missing.

别bié急jí我wǒ帮bāng你nǐ找zhǎo

Don't worry, I'll help you find it.

我们wǒ men去qù床chuáng上shàng吧ba

Let's go to the bed.

床chuáng上shàng，你nǐ要yào干什么gàn shén me

On the bed? What are you going to do?

我wǒ看kàn大家dà jiā都dōu坐zuò在zài上面shàng miàn漂流piāo liú

I see everyone sitting on it drifting.

哈哈hā hā那nà叫jiào船chuán上shàng，不bù叫jiào床chuáng上shàng

Haha, that's called on the boat, not on the bed.

有yǒu什么shén me区别qū bié

What's the difference?

船chuán是shì交通工具jiāo tōng gōng jù

A boat is a means of transportation.

那nà床chuáng呢ne

What about the boat?

床chuáng是shì睡觉shuì jiào的de地方dì fang

A bed is a place for sleeping.

啊a太tài不好意思bù hǎo yì si了le

Ah, I'm so embarrassed.

没事méi shì

It's okay.

我wǒ明白míng bai了le，我wǒ想xiǎng去qù坐zuò船chuán

I understand, I want to go ride a boat.

好hǎo的de这里zhè lǐ买票mǎi piào上船shàng chuán

Okay, buy a ticket to get on the boat here.